*Warning. I use foul language. Deal with it or don’t read my damn blog*

Oh hi! It’s been a while.

I was in Canada for a the month of August, eating and drinking everything in sight until all of my clothes were very uncomfortable and I resorted to only wearing stretch pants. So when I came home in September I thought “I’m going to do Keto!” so I can do up my jeans again. For those of you who haven’t heard, Keto is a “diet” or “lifestyle” that is very low carb and high fat. That means no sugar. None. No tubulars. What the fuck is a tubular you ask? A potato. Including sweet potatoes. No beans. Most fruit is off limits. Lots of veggies are “bad” too. Wanna carrot? TOO FUCKING BAD.

Maybe right now isn’t the best time to be writing a blog because I’m in a MOOD due to the shit storm that is life, but I don’t think Keto is something I’m going to be sticking with. I like the idea of eating less sugar and bullshit. But it’s so high fat and lacks a lot of fruits and veggies. Don’t get me wrong, I like fat. Fat is our friend. But if eating too much spinach can throw you out of ketosis then what the fuck are we even doing with our damn lives?

I lost 4 pounds the first 2 weeks on this thing. Keep in mind, I was sticking to it 100% and not drinking a sip of alcohol. Then I introduced some red wine here and there…a gin and soda, and it was all downhill. I am currently the same weight as I was when I started this nonsense and I haven’t even LOOKED at a beer.

In conclusion, I still want to limit bread and pasta and bad sugars. But if I want to eat a goddamn potato from time to time or a have a few chickpeas in my salad I’M GONNA DO IT. I like bacon and eggs as much as the next piece of shit but you’re telling me that much bacon is GOOD for me long term? Piss off.

I did make a lot of delicious food while eating Keto cause I’m good at cooking and if I’m going to be restricted in what I can and cannot eat, you better believe that what I’m putting in my mouth is going to be delicious and creative.

So here is a recipe for a Keto eggplant parmesan. Even if you’re not eating Keto, this is SO good.

Julia’s Keto Eggplant Parm

Ingredients

1 large Eggplant, sliced 1/4 inch rounds
1/2 jar of low sugar/no sugar added tomato sauce
1/2 cup bone broth
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 ball of fresh mozzarella
1/2 cup or more of freshly grated parmesan
Some dried oregano, parsley and/or basil if you want to jazz up the sauce
Olive oil
Kosher salt
Pepper
Fresh basil

Directions

1. Take your sliced eggplant and generously salt either side. Lay between paper towel and cover with something heavy. This will draw the moisture out. Wait at least 1 hour.
2. while your eggplant is getting the water sucked out of it, start your sauce! Dump in your tomato sauce, herbs, garlic and broth. Let simmer at a low heat until the sauce reduces. If it’s getting too low and thick, add some more bone broth.
3. quickly rinse the salt off the eggplant and pat dry with paper towel. Using a meat pounder, gently pound the eggplant rounds to flatten them.
4. Place the rounds on an oiled baking sheet and bake at 375 for 20 minutes, flipping once.
5. slice your ball of mozzarella into rounds and grate your parm.

1. In a small oven proof casserole dish, start assembling your eggplant towers. Add sauce to the bottom and then a layer of eggplant rounds. Add more sauce, a slice of cheese and a sprinkle of parm. Repeat until all the ingredients are done.
2. Bake at 375 for 40ish minutes, or until cheese is bubbly and slightly brown.
3. Let sit for 10 minutes, top with basil and enjoy!

HELL YEAH! This is goooood. So cheese and slightly sweet and tender and satisfying. I added bone broth to the tomato sauce to up the protein and dilute the tomato sauce. Tomatoes have a lot of sugar which are a Keto no-no. If you don’t salt the eggplant they will be watery and bitter. Pounding them out isn’t 100% necessary but I feel that it makes them more tender. You have to cook the tomato sauce for a while or the broth will make it too runny. That’s no fun. However, if you’re not worried about carbs, serve this with crusty bread and soak up that deliciousness! I topped the leftovers with a fried egg for a delicious breakfast the next day.

So, Keto or not, make this and enjoy yourself and the food that you eat because our time on earth is fleeting and we should just go for it.

xoxo

Julia